Sample Funny Saying

"There is only one pretty child in the world… and every mother has it." -  Chinese Proverb.   Children will soon forget your presents. They will always remember your presence.   The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.   Grandchildren are God’s [...]

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All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his. Oscar Wilde All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. Mark Twain Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed. Winston Churchill Always do right – this will gratify some and [...]

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Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no? Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb. Dark Helmet, Space Balls   If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. “Demented and sad, but social.” — The Breakfast Club “This is so bad it’s gone past [...]

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An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away. Mae West Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly. Mae West Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?   Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.   Ah, good ol’ trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. Homer Simpson [...]

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You know the speed of light, so what’s the speed of dark?   Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.   I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.   Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t. [...]

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An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing. Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.   Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. Mark Twain Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. [...]

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A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him. Mae West A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished. Zsa Zsa Gabor A man in the house is worth two in the street. Mae West   Do not meddle in [...]

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Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love! Homer Simpson   Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance. Always borrow money from a pessimist.  He won’t expect it back. As [...]

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Accept that some days you’re the pigeon and some days you’re the statue.   Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn’t there the first time you need him, chances are you won’t be needing him again.   I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.   Last night, I [...]

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Always forgive your enemies – Nothing annoys them so much.   Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m a schizophrenic and so am I. Bill Murray (What about Bob)   If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?   "Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that [...]

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