Fun and entertainment are requisite of every living. Read on the following funny quotes to add spice, smiles, joys, entertainment and fun to your life.
May those who love us love us,
and those who do not love us,
may God turn their hearts,
and if He cannot turn their hearts
may He turn their ankles
that we may know them by their limping.
He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.
There are three faithful friends-an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
I can resist everything except temptation.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they’re going to catch you in next.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.
Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
The chicken came first - God would look silly sitting on an egg.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.
The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.
Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting.
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. Today is the last day of some of your life.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
Without geography, you’re nowhere.
A rich man’s joke is always funny.
It’s always darkest before the dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
You can’t have everything… where would you put it?
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils
If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.