You know the speed of light, so what’s the speed of dark?
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)
Gentlemen. You can’t fight in here. This is the War Room.
President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers) in ‘Dr. Strangelove’
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
Airplane!
There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
Mark Twain
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Emo Philips