"There is only one pretty child in the world… and every
mother has it." - Chinese Proverb.
Children will soon forget your presents. They will always
remember your presence.
The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind
yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your kids.
Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
Dilbert
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
George Burns
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My achilles heel, if you will.
Homer Simpson
"Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?"
Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby"
has never tried it.
The best inheritance parents can give their children is
a few minutes of their time each day.